Yesterday, someone in a cafe told me they felt stressed. They said almost the same things as my friend whom I spoke with on Friday: "I can't seem to relax. I'm stressed. I've got thoughts going around my head all the time. It's like i can't switch off."
This was important stuff to hear because I knew what they were talking about. They believed they had lost control of their inner dialogue. It's like they stopped driving the car to watch the scenery go by instead and wonder why they've left the road, hitting the barriers. I have had similar experiences in the past. I was fortunate to learn how to control it, reduce it and do something different to feel much better instead. It's good they can identity what is happening because they can now more easily help themselves.
This is the technique I recommended to them. It is a highly effective yet simple tool in using your own voice to get control and change your experiences to those you prefer to have. The most important thing to remember is you have control and adaptability for your own well being.
The quick guide
You need to gently step inside, slow yourself down, relax and turn the switch off. The cool thing is when some people discover new ways to relax they find new confidence too.
I recommend using an inner voice tonality, speed and volume that is calming, soothing and relaxing. Practice using the most relaxing tone of voice you can imagine whilst reading the following technique. You'll know when you've found your perfect voice because your body will tell you so. Your will relax with a feeling you have not felt in this way for a long time.
When you notice the thoughts moving and any feelings of unease or stress do the following:
- Imagine removing the energy from the thoughts. They are in your head so you have control now.
- Slow them down. When you can notice them moving around your head, then you can slow that motion to a trickle and a more peaceful pace.
- As the thoughts slow down so the feelings you have will improve. You can easily turn yourself away from stressed toward so very deeply relaxed.
- Tell yourself in a calm, gentle voice to slow down and soften. Use a tonality that is rich in soothing undertones so your body automatically relaxes. It's like you are slowly and lovingly caressing something you adore.
This will also improve your well being dramatically.
- Find a word or phrase that feels relaxing to you. For example, it can be 'relax' or 'bliss' or 'I'm deeply relaxed.' Find any of your own.
- Only choose the words that really make your body relax and your mind calm. The sort of words that send the most wondrous sensations up and down your spine and from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.
- In your soothing, calm voice repeat the word or phrase to yourself until you are enjoying the state of relaxation you want.
- Enjoy this regularly. It's like eating your favourite delicious, nutritious food or meeting your best friend. You'll do it often because it feels fantastic.
Exploring the use of your new relaxing voice. You can say things to yourself and direct your voice inside yourself for different effects.
- Repeat your relaxing words and imagine hearing them from your right side and then your left. Then both places together. It's like you're hearing with stereo speakers.
- Maybe you prefer surround sound. Imagine hearing your voice coming from left and right and from in front and behind you. Then imagine your voice from above and below.
- Now, experience your wonderfully relaxing voice all around you and inside of you.
- Imagine a group of singers surrounding you with a harmony of voices spreading relaxation through you and all around you.
Remember, the potential to positively and dramatically effect your well being with this technique is literally within you. It's exists between the twin powers of your imagination and your talent with your inner voice or inner dialogue. I believe we all talk to ourselves. We have our pep talks, rallying calls, admonishments, alarms and songs of love. Let's develop skills in using them wisely, lovingly, powerfully and direct them with our best intentions for well being.
Let me know what you are experiencing.
Thanks for reading